Desire to Write

Why is writing so hard? It's like you have this idea for a story and you're like, how hard can this be? And then you sit down to write it and you're like, I have no idea what I'm doing. If you sit down to write it at all. Most of the time you're just procrastinating it, for some reason or another, some of which being perfectionism.

The idea that it has to be perfect before you even begin to write it. I think that's how I'm able to make games, I never have that idea. I'm always like, this game is perfect, and then I make it, and then it stinks, and then I playtest and revise it and make it better. But if I didn't think that my first version was going to be perfect, I don't know if I could ever even start making one.

Anyway, I have all these ideas for books I could (would? should?) write but I just, like, don't? I guess? Because...reasons? I heard that a famous author would set himself a time every day to write. And he would sit at his desk. And he didn't have to write. But he couldn't do anything else. So it was either write or just sit there doing literally nothing except for sitting there. And that's how he was able to write.

How does one gain a desire to write? How does one gain a desire in general? Where does desire come from? If we believe the gospel, then we all have the freedom of choice, or free will, or moral agency. Nobody can make us do anything. I'm still not sure how this all works, like, if my brother tells me to hit someone and I do, he's still partly responsible, right? Even though he didn't make me, he still holds some guilt? But how much? And how much would I have? I'd have 100% if I decided to hit that dude without my brother urging me on, but with him urging me on am I at less than 100%, or does his responsibility and mine added together make more than 100%? But I digress.

Like, it's so easy to just sit here and type this stuff out, but I can't sit down and write a novel? Or short story? Maybe because this is written in stream of consciousness? And I don't have an outline? Because, you know, having an outline adds an extra step. But it also makes it easier. So it's like a paradox: something that makes the process longer that actually makes it shorter.

I was going to type and write more on this, but now it's getting late and I should probably take off. So I'll finish these thoughts later.