Desire to Write

Why is writing so hard? It's like you have this idea for a story and you're like, how hard can this be? And then you sit down to write it and you're like, I have no idea what I'm doing. If you sit down to write it at all. Most of the time you're just procrastinating it, for some reason or another, some of which being perfectionism.

The idea that it has to be perfect before you even begin to write it. I think that's how I'm able to make games, I never have that idea. I'm always like, this game is perfect, and then I make it, and then it stinks, and then I playtest and revise it and make it better. But if I didn't think that my first version was going to be perfect, I don't know if I could ever even start making one.

Anyway, I have all these ideas for books I could (would? should?) write but I just, like, don't? I guess? Because...reasons? I heard that a famous author would set himself a time every day to write. And he would sit at his desk. And he didn't have to write. But he couldn't do anything else. So it was either write or just sit there doing literally nothing except for sitting there. And that's how he was able to write.

How does one gain a desire to write? How does one gain a desire in general? Where does desire come from? If we believe the gospel, then we all have the freedom of choice, or free will, or moral agency. Nobody can make us do anything. I'm still not sure how this all works, like, if my brother tells me to hit someone and I do, he's still partly responsible, right? Even though he didn't make me, he still holds some guilt? But how much? And how much would I have? I'd have 100% if I decided to hit that dude without my brother urging me on, but with him urging me on am I at less than 100%, or does his responsibility and mine added together make more than 100%? But I digress.

Like, it's so easy to just sit here and type this stuff out, but I can't sit down and write a novel? Or short story? Maybe because this is written in stream of consciousness? And I don't have an outline? Because, you know, having an outline adds an extra step. But it also makes it easier. So it's like a paradox: something that makes the process longer that actually makes it shorter.

I was going to type and write more on this, but now it's getting late and I should probably take off. So I'll finish these thoughts later.

Antibody test, and other things

Yesterday morning I met with a doctor (via video chat on my computer). Why did I meet with a doctor? Because I wanted to get an antibody test to see if I had had the Coronavirus in he past. I didn’t let anyone know this, but during the week of March 30-April 3 I was sick with all the symptoms of COVID-19. My family was all sick at the same time too with the symptoms. It’s a good thing I was doing online school at that time!

So anyway, I thought I might have had it, but how to make sure? The Coronavirus antibody test. So I had my doctor’s meeting and he sent over an order for a test to the local testing place. Then I went to the local testing place, they took my blood, and I should be getting results in a few days here.

So remember that post where I said I didn’t have COVID-19? I might need to go back and edit it.

In other news, I talked to my brother Ryan the other day. I was watching a YouTube video on making objects from a 3-D printer when Ryan called and told me... he had gotten a 3-D printer. Conscience? Probably. But it was still cool.

Ryan asked me if I was working on any games. I am, but I haven’t had much time to with me doing 8 hours of work a day online, at home, with the kids constantly pining for my attention. At any rate, it’s a game that only uses cards and no pieces. Here’s a picture of a file I have (obviously not done):

So now that school’s almost over, I’m like, uh, I usually work Kids Club for summer but they’re not doing it (obviously) so I’m at a loss of what summer job I should do.

Pictures Henry drew, My YouTube channel

Henry is 5 years old! We measured his height the other day and he is 3 feet 5 inches. Or 3 feet 6 inches. One of those two. Joy is 2 feet 10 inches tall.

Here's some super adorable pictures Henry drew.

This one is of the First Vision.

And this is one of a couple getting married in the Temple.

So cute, right!?

I now how over 150 YouTube subscribers. My mom and dad were my 150th.

I've been putting a lot of stuff up on YouTube lately due to me teaching from home/teaching on-line. If you liked my Proclamation of the Restoration video (link!) then you can check out some of my school videos:
Topic, Theme, Central Idea, and Summary
Privacy vs. Protection: The USA Patriot Act
The Marshall Plan Explained
What is Spoken Word Poetry?
Conspiracy Theories

More should be coming as school continues.