In the Old Testament, around 867 BC, the prophet Elijah fled into the wilderness. We often don’t discuss this part of the book of First Kings, although we all know and love the story right before it and the story right after it. Just before is the amazing story of Elijah facing off against the false prophets of Baal, challenging them to a contest. And while the prophets of Baal screamed and shouted all day and could not get their idol’s altar to alight, with one prayer the altar of the God of Abraham burst into flames, even though it had just been doused in water three times. When Elijah had the wicked false prophets put to death, the evil Jezebel sought revenge, and swore in her wrath that Elijah would die. Thus we get Elijah fleeing into the desert at the beginning of 1 Kings chapter 19. What exactly Elijah was feeling in these moments I don’t know, but we do know that the scriptural record reads that Elijah “came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die.” In fact, he even, in earnest prayer, petitions the Lord, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life.” We must remember at this time that Elijah was terribly discouraged. He had remained faithful in proclaiming God’s message, yet the only result, as far as he could see, was a threat on his life. Not only that, but he believed that he was the only faithful person left. These things took a tremendous mental strain on him. And he wasn’t the first. In Numbers 11 we read that Moses too felt like his burden was too heavy to bear, and prayed to the Lord that the Lord would kill him. In today’s dispensation, other great leaders have also had these dark thoughts when things seemed too hard to bear, including President George Albert Smith and Elder Jeffery R. Holland. Of this, Elder Holland explains: “At one point in our married life when financial fears collided with staggering fatigue, I took a psychic blow that was as unanticipated as it was real. With the grace of God and the love of my family, I kept functioning and kept working, but even after all these years I continue to feel a deep sympathy for others more chronically or more deeply afflicted with such gloom than I was.” “Let me . . . concentrate on MDD—“major depressive disorder”—or, more commonly, “depression.” When I speak of this, I am not speaking of bad hair days, tax deadlines, or other discouraging moments we all have. Everyone is going to be anxious or downhearted on occasion. The Book of Mormon says Ammon and his brethren were depressed at a very difficult time, and so can the rest of us be. But today I am speaking of something more serious, of an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts a person’s ability to function fully, a crater in the mind so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively.” While not a great church leader, I too have had depression. Have it currently, still. (Talk about my depression.)
But the topic of my talk today is not to dwell on mental illness, it is to talk on mental health and new beginnings. And in order to be well, we must admit that there is something wrong, and reach out for help. Sister JANE CLAYSON JOHNSON did years of research on depression in members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and one thing she learned from her hundreds of interviews is that in the church we sometimes have a stigma surrounding mental health. She says in her BYU-Pathway Worldwide Devotional, “I know many people who feel a sense of embarrassment and shame attached not only to a mental health diagnosis but also to the medication prescribed and the therapy required for treatment. This stigma must be stopped!
Depression is not the result of some sort of personal inadequacy. It is not a black mark on your character. If you broke your arm or found out you had kidney disease, you wouldn’t feel embarrassed to talk about it. You’d do all you could to try to heal. If you got a diagnosis of cancer or heart disease, you wouldn’t worry about being judged or ostracized. You’d likely receive an outpouring of love and support. A mental health diagnosis should be no different.”
If you were to break a bone in one of your limbs, would you try to hide it to avoid being ‘judged”? No, you would seek help, especially from a professional. Mental illness and depression should not be a taboo subject in the church. We need to create an environment where someone, if they are struggling with depression or anxiety, can feel comfortable in reaching out. And we should reach out. Mental health does not come from simply thinking positively or choosing to be happy, any more than a sprained ankle can heal by simply continuing to walk on it and ignoring it. It takes both prayers AND outside help. Elder Holland counsels, “Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. . . . If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.” I went to counseling and am now taking depression medication. There should be no shame in going to get help.
Sometimes it will be hard, especially, as Sister Jane Clayson Johnson points out, that “depression can have a very real impact on the ability to feel the Spirit.” She goes on to say, “For me, depression blocked all feelings, including feelings of the Spirit. So even though I was praying and reading my scriptures and going to church and attending the temple, I couldn’t feel God’s love like I had before the depression hit. I heard this over and over from the people I interviewed. Many told me that the spiritual symptoms of depression are the most distressing part of the illness.” How do we combat a disease that takes away our ability to feel the Spirit? Like mentioned earlier, we get help. If you do not have depression and anxiety, and can feel the Spirit working in your life still, then pay attention to promptings that lead you to helping another person who may not be able to. If someone comes to you and explains their troubles, please don’t just brush it off and tell them that if they’d only pray more or read their scriptures more or think more positively then things will get better. You would never say that to someone with a broken finger or stage three cancer, so don’t say it for this very real and very genuine illness. I know what it feels like. I’ve been there, in the darkest pits of despair. I know first hand what it’s like.
Elijah was a great prophet, but even he had moments of depression. The Lord knows that we are mortal and He understands our mortal nature. God takes our human nature, with its problems, into account when considering our requests. Like with Elijah’s prayer to die, God often refuses to give us what we ask for. He knew that Elijah’s request was motivated by his physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. So God did not answer Elijah’s prayer, instead, He gave the prophet what he really needed. The Lord sent an angel to minister to his physical needs, providing food and water. Then God directed Elijah to Mount Horeb, where He reminded the prophet of His great power. For it is after this story that we get another one of our most known and loved scriptures, the one where Elijah is hiding in a mountain and experiences a great wind, an earthquake, and a fire, but the Lord was not in any of those. Because afterwards came a still, small, voice. I testify that Christ lives. (bear testimony)
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