Alex is home from his mission!

 And I have a condition! It's called cellulitis, and it smells like Midas. Can you tell? That I smell? What the heck? Is that Glen Beck? And everyone said, "Hey! You're writing really cray-cray!" So I continued to type; I didn't want to let down that hype. My wife is the best. She is better than the rest. And so we go on, like boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past....

Henry is six. Joy turns four years old tomorrow! This is her last day of being three. FOREVER.

We went through the Temple open house this last week. Heather is volunteering there as a tour guide. Super cool to go through all the rooms. Did they have an un-dedicate ceremony when it closed down? Or does it just happen? Kind of like getting set apart for a calling--when you're released, you aren't un-set apart.

Dune: The desert planet. He who controls the spice, controls the Universe. Eric should do a movie review on the new movie.

Spoon: The dessert planet. He who controls the syrup, controls the Universe.

Doomed: The deserted planet. He who controls the--wait, what was that!? Ahhh!! Help! We're bein-- . . . . . . .

So, you're on a gameshow, right? And before you are three doors. Behind one is a new car. Behind the other two are goats. You pick one randomly. Then the game show hosts opens one of the two doors you didn't pick, revealing a goat. The game show host now gives you the option: you can either keep your previous door, or switch to the other closed one. What should you do? 

You: Oh boy! I love goats! Me: Uh... but let's assume you want the car in this case. You: Ah, man.

So, you're in prison, right? And before you are three doors. Behind one is certain death. Behind the other two are tickets to freedom. You are allowed to point at one door and then ask one yes-or-no question. If the door you pointed at was one of the doors that lead to freedom, the guard must answer "yes" or "no" truthfully. However, if you point at the door that leads to death, the guard will say either "yes" or "no" completely at random. What question should you ask that guarantees your freedom?

You: Wait, why am I in prison? Me: Don't worry about it. You: I stole the goats, didn't I? Me: Yeah...

So, you're in front of three doors, right? And--

You: Forget it. Me: No, it's gonna be good, trust me, just stick around. You: Nope, no more of this three door stuff. I'm outta here!