Tomorrow I have no school. My district has begun its two-week long October break. This first week will be used to clean the house and such. The second week will be vacationing with Heather's side of the family in southern Utah, or somewhere round abouts.
I feel so lazy and lethargic today. Maybe it's because next weekend is fast Sunday and so I'm fasting. Maybe it's because I'm stressed. Stressed for no other reason than I'm trying to adult and I'm too lazy or incompetent to. So being lazy leads to me being lazy. Great. Blarg. Maybe I shouldn't try to blog when I'm super hungry. Makes for a bad combination.
The problem with being able to sit down and write a short story is now that I know I can do it, I can no longer use "I don't even know IF I can do it" as an excuse for not doing it. And without an excuse for not doing it, now I feel guilty when I could be doing but aren't because I'm lazy. Now I can't hide behind the excuse, "Well I can't" because I know I can.
They say that the Sabbath should be a delight. Then why does it not feel like a delight to me? It "should" be my favorite day of the week if I'm like righteous and stuff, but right now to me it's my least favorite day of the week. I feel like I can't do anything. I can't watch a bunch of videos on Youtube, or work on my games, or work on work stuff, or anything. All I can do is read scriptures or whatever. And I know I shouldn't feel that way, I know that I should love Sunday, but I don't. I feel like I've run off course spiritually or something. And the worst part is I know I should do something about it, so I can't even claim ignorance or anything.
I SHOULD read the scriptures every day. And I used to. Why can't I just do it? Just blooming do the thing I know I need to? I'm lazy. And I procrastinate. And I desire wasting time on YouTube and not doing anything productive than I do not procrastinating and doing productive things. Like, it doesn't take me that long at all to do the dishes or fold laundry, but I always put it off and then it doesn't get done and then it's a disaster and then it's all my fault because I'm too lazy to just sit down and freaking do it.
And thus this post degrades itself into madness and chaos.
I'm going to copy and paste here the beginning to my Choose-Your-Own-Adventure type story entitled "Paths of Zarahemla" for no other reason than to show anyone who may be reading this post that I have, in fact, attempted to write something after Synesthesia.
PART I
Chapter 1
The swell of voices sounds around you as you walk down one of the paths of Zarahemla. You let the syncopated noises wash over you as you take another bite of your mango you’re eating for lunch. Man, you enjoy Zarahemla in the spring. The shouts of street vendors, calls of craftsmen, and prophesying of priests all hold sweet memories for you, and listening to the chatter of the passersby brings a smile to your face. Zarahemla, your home.
You finish up your mango as you pass over a small bridge going over one of the waterways in the city. You toss the mango pit into the water, careful to avoid hitting of the assorted fowl that are floating and swimming in the water. You wave to a fisherman on its banks, and continue across, making way for a young couple holding hands and traveling in the other direction. An invisible cloud of fancy flower perfume and fragrance floats around them, and you inhale deeply the rich, colorful scents.
As you continue down the path, you place your hand on the wall of an adjacent building, and feel the texture of the stone rush under your fingers. It was hard to imagine that this city wasn’t even originally Nephite. It was a
You are on your way to meet one of your closest friends, Joseph. He told you yesterday that he has something very important to tell you, something that he just discovered from one of his friends,
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